3/31/06
Today, marks four weeks since my baby Riley journeyed to Heaven. Although to everyone here (at home/community) I may seem that I am okay, that I am holding up strong, but, thats not how I feel on the inside.
I have such an ache, a deep pain that won't go away or if I do have my mind on something else, then I feel such guilt, that I am forgetting my baby. But, I know thats not true, because I can feel his love all around and inside of me it is how I am able to focus on other things.
For the last three Fridays, I have lit a candle before 7 AM at his graveside, it is my way of saying I remember, I will always remember.
Today I built a store at cafepress, so my family and friends can order a T-shirt, pillow or pin with his picture as most of them have declared Fridays as "Riley Day". Even at his school his classmates wear the shirts we gave them and the school cafeteria will have Fridays as Riley Pizza Day (his favorite).
Last night there was a community concert by the Native Rapper/Movie Star "Litefoot", who did a tribute to Riley, because Riley lived the message he was giving, which was to be Drug and Alcohol free, to Love others, to have Hope for the native people and above all to Pray for each other. This is so wonderful to know that one little boy, my son, touched a lot of lives while he was here and even now that he's gone.
I thank GOD for giving me this precious child, my husband and I appreciate all that everyone has done for Riley and our family and we know someday we will see him again.
WE LOVE YOU "RILEY", OUR BABY BOI!
Mom & Dad
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3/31/06
I just have to explain more about my Riley and his legacy.
Riley had asthma, of which he had been diagnosed when he was in first grade. In the following 5 years he had been hospitalized at least six times due to bronchities, pnemonia, and severe asthma attacks. And each time he would be out of school for a week or more.
His teachers and classmates always prayed for him, and sent him cards and letters which really lifted his spirit. They all loved him and missed him especially his hugs. In my opinion, he taught them compassion, to be able to feel for others.
Also in the community we live in, the Y-A tribal nation does not have a fully equipped health clinic, or a 24 hour EMT/Fire person, and with the one person they did have, well, his medical bag was not fully provided for. But this man, Mr. Diaz did all he could with what he had, to try and save my baby, and I saw the frustration he had for not having the equipment he needed. But the most wonderful thing that occured due to my Rileys passing (journey to heaven) is that now the Y-A Nation is finally gonna hire more EMT staff, and that equipment has now been ordered so that the medical bags are equipped with appropriate stuff, and also anyone in the community who wants to, can receive CPR training.
So yes, this was all a part of GODs plan, and even though in a way my son sacrificed himself, he did it to help others.
Again I say, "Thank You GOD, for your gift of Riley to us." 
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4/24/2006, 9:23 PM 
RILEY is the youngest of my three children, and I've always treated him just a little more special, but not sure if it was due to me working when he was a year old, or because he was always sick due to asthma, or because of the dreams I had about him, or maybe it was just because he was the baby.
I called him my sweetie, and when he was small he would say he wanted to marry me when he grew up, even at ten years old he would pretend to fight with his dad that he was gonna kiss me, of course I always let him win.
If you read about Riley, I have a letter that says just what our special moments are, and right now it is those times I miss him the most. I LUV YOU BABY
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5/7/06
But I wanted more
Today was the last day for my BSA 229 class, and after we went to eat with our instructor as this was his last class for teaching, he is retiring after this semester.
I had a nice lunch with my classmates, and even classmates from other semesters. I felt so involved, and for a few minutes I didn't feel the sadness, just love for my Riley and I had only happy thoughts of him. But now that I am home, the tragedy of that day hit me
I though about my Riley's last words, and his looks to me and I just feel like breaking down and crying it hurts so bad to think that I couldn't help him. I was right there and I couldn't do anything. Why? Oh Why did God have to take him? He was my baby, and I wanted to take care of him.
I wanted him to be able to grow up to at least turn 11, then 12. To be able to travel with him, and dance with him, to be able to help him with a science project, or help him learn algebra or use a graphing calculator. I wanted to read the Harry Potter books with him, and study the bible stories, and watch movies with him, to learn how to play his favorite video games, and Yu Gi Oh card game. To finally be able to buy him what he wanted when he wanted and not wait for Christmas or a birthday, I wanted to spend more time with him and his classmates and go on field trips, to have lunch with him at school, or take him out for lunch. I wanted to take one more picture of him and the other kids. We both wanted to buy extra stuff (clothes/props) so we would have them for halloween and costumes, and for drama or reading. I wanted to finally help him have his lemonade stand he wanted so badly, at the corner of our street when it was finally warm outside. Oh baby, my Riley, I am so sad that we didn't get to do these things :(
I hope and pray that your having fun in Heaven because that would give me happy thoughts that you are being taken care of, that you are being loved since I can't be with you yet.
To my Baby, my Riley
I LOVE YOU
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5/17/06
Today the Camp Verde Kindergarten class did a tribute to our RILEY by doing (singing) a song in sign language, to a song called "Go My Son".
The teacher Mrs. Lacombe was our RILEY's teacher when he was in Kindergarten 5 years ago. The teacher was crying when she talked about the song and about RILEY, who she said was a special a boy, and would always remember him.
I think it was beautiful that a whole other grade would do this to honor my son. Also there was to be a drawing for the top readers of Kindergarten for a bike, but we were not able to stay for it. But it was also in honor of our RILEY, which they called it "Riley's Readers".
One other honorable thing is that the school is doing a tribute page just for RILEY in their school year book. We should be getting that next week.
Oh yes one more thing, RILEY's classmates had a book published with a story that RILEY had written, and of which they finished the story for him. The book also had paragraphs of memories that they had about our RILEY. Oh it's just wonderful that these children did this, not only did they publish this story/memory book but they also published a cookbook, which contained RILEY's favorite food "Taco Chip Salad", and they even drew a picture of the food for him.
Ok one more thing to add. One of my son's goals for 2006 was to go to Waterworld, and although he never did or will go, this goal is being fulfilled by his class as they will be going next week as their end of school event.
Even though I miss my son so badly, I know that he is being well taken care of and that now he is watching over all of us.
To My RILEY, I LUV YOU, I LUV YOU BABY :)
Joanne
Mom to Angel RILEY
Mom to Santeo
Mom to Camie Jo
Grandma to Michelle 
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Tuesday 6/13/06
I had another dream of RILEY, but in this one I didn't see him in person but on a video. I was watching a video of him and his classmates, and he was not aware that he was being videotaped. It was just what I was looking for, and in my dream I was calling my husband "look, look it's RILEY" just how we wanted to see him, just being himself doing everyday things.
At first when I woke up I didn't remember until my sister told me that she had finally got a copy of the "Touched by An Angel" movie, the 100th episode called 151st Psalm. My sisters had told me about this movie and how much it was like RILEY's legacy so they wanted me to see it. I finally watched it (twice) and cried, but they were right it was as if it had been about my son.
I am adding some passages from the movie that have so much meaning for me, and I used RILEY's name where needed. I also am adding the words to the song from the movie.
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"Finish the song (life)"
"Riley, he's been strong for so long, he needed to rest"
"He needed to be carried to the Fathers arms, now where there is no pain" "He's a tough a little boy, he didn't want to go until he was finished"
Finish what you begin, with the best that you have to give.
Riley finished what he began with all the love and courage that his heart can give.
GOD's gift to you,
On the nights that seem so long and so quiet.
When your arms feel empty
And the table is set without him
And you think your heart can't bear to face another day
without your little boy
That song of praise for his life will rise in your soul
again and again, and you will make it through
to another morning
Everytime you sing the words they lift you higher
Just as every step that RILEY took in his life
brought him closer to Heaven,
he also brought everyone in his life just a little bit closer to it too (by his love and hugs)
Tell the world you will never forget
Be a witness to a life lived completely and loved,
for RILEY
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TESTIFY TO LOVE
All the colors of the rainbow
All the voices of the wind
Every dream that reaches out
That reaches out to find where love begins
Every word of every story
Every star in every sky
Every corner of creation lives to testify

For as long as I shall live
I will testify to love
I'll be a witness in the silences
when words are not enough
With every breath I take
I'll give thanks to God above
For as long as l shall live
I will testify to love 

From the mountains to the valleys
From the rivers to the seas
Every hand that reaches out
Every hand that reaches out to offer peace
Every simple act of mercy
Every step to kingdom come
All the hope in every heart will speak
what love has done 
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Thank you Heavenly Father, you have brought me out of dispair to hope. Amen